


5 times Simon came out (and 1 time someone came out to him)

by snowandfirestories



Category: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Coming Out, Going stealth, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Nonbinary Agatha Wellbelove, Nonbinary Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Simon Snow, Transphobia, a lil dash of religious trauma, okay so the person in the first chapter is unaffirming but the rest are cool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-21 08:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30019137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowandfirestories/pseuds/snowandfirestories
Summary: Simon Snow is trans and here's the story of how he came out to all of the important people in his lifeDay 1 of the trans mages week prompts: coming out
Relationships: Simon Snow/Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 45
Kudos: 55
Collections: Trans mages week 2021 (transmagesweek)





	1. Catherine

**Author's Note:**

> I know this one is early, but I have it timed out to where if I post a chapter every day, the last chapter will come out on the first day, instead of me releasing it all in one go
> 
> TW: an original character is unaccepting of Simon's identity and uses religion to justify it, trans character forced to present femininely, references to transphobic violence, outdated terminology, referenced homophobia and transphobia
> 
> Some notes: I am a trans man writing this, and a lot of stuff in it is based on my own experiences, trans people aren't a monolith though, so not all trans people will have the same experiences. If you want to know more, I urge you to talk to trans people, my DMs are always open for any questions you may have.
> 
> And as always, take care!
> 
> Also: edited to add: in this chapter, Simon is 9-11, and has only been surrounded by unaffirming ppl, so he doesn’t know all the right words to explain how he identifies, and all he knows at this point is the negative stuff that has been said to him. Over the course of the fic, he’ll grow more into himself and gain more of the necessary knowledge and be more comfortable with himself, but he’s just got a rough go of it in the first few years

When Simon was 9 years old, he was still at the age where he was cute enough and young enough to still be desirable for placement in foster homes. But when he got to the homes, he knew he was never what they expected. The parents always tried to hide their disappointment, but Simon always knew. The mums always hoped for a little girl who they could take for mani-pedis and dress up in cute little bows and would cause less trouble than a boy would. 

Simon’s muddy knees and propensity for trouble didn’t fit into that equation. He still tried to play the part from time to time, but at some point, he realized that he enjoyed the positive reactions more than he ever enjoyed the outings. And the mums usually gave up altogether after one too many dirty dresses. Except for one. Catherine didn’t care that Simon didn’t enjoy dressing up and that he preferred playing with a football to playing with dolls

She was an older lady who had never been able to have kids of her own, and was one of the nicer parents in the system. You could tell that she cared about her kids more than most. She was relatively relaxed about most things; food was always available, she always spoke softly, and she took the kids on weekly trips to the library. Her only real condition was that all of the kids had to attend weekly services at the church down the road with her and youth group on wednesdays. Simon didn’t mind the services that much. It was all overwhelmingly boring, but the crafts at the youth group were usually pretty fun, so that made up for it.

After church, Catherine always took the kids to a local diner for a late breakfast. Most Sunday brunches were fairly uneventful, but there was one that will remain in Simon’s memory forever. Simon was sitting with the other kids and had just ordered his omelette, when the bell for the door rang. 

Someone walked into the door who was like no one he’d ever seen before. He instantly felt an emotion that he could in no way place. He looked so different from the rest of the world, but carried himself with a purpose and confidence that was infectious. Simon had always grown up being taught that looking like that was wrong, but he seemed okay with being different. He felt that unknowable feeling again, and suddenly recognized what it meant. 

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt more connected to this stranger than he ever had to his foster parents or any of the other kids in care. He didn’t just like how he looked, he wanted to look like him and have the freedom that he represented. 

Over the next few weeks, the encounter stayed in the back of his mind, constantly playing on repeat until it grew too prominent to ignore until he hesitantly brought it up with Catherine.

“Miss Catherine?” he asked

“Yes, darling?” She responded, moving to hug him, as if she could tell something was wrong. Simon snuggled into her embrace and took a breath to work up the courage for what he had to say.

“I think I’m a boy”

Catherine stiffened at his words and went deathly silent for a moment.

“What could have put that idea into your head, my dear?” She finally asked.

“Well there was a man at the diner and I wanna be like him”

“I should have said something as soon as that woman walked in. She had the gall to walk around pretending to be what she wasn’t and now it’s influenced you to a life of deviancy. I’m so sorry that you ever had to see something like that” Catherine said, the softness of her tone covering the poison in her words. 

“But he looks so happy! I want to be happy like him!” Simon argued

“That’s the devil talking child. She has turned her back to god and is destined for an eternity in hell. You don’t want to go to hell now, right?”

“No ma’am” Simon sighed. He knew that he had no way of winning this argument and didn’t want to ruin the first okay family he’d been placed in with a dream that he hoped would go away. But it did not go away. 

It didn’t go away when the next week’s church service denounced the influence of sodomites and transsexuals and Simon finally had some word to cling to to describe his experience, no matter how negative the word was.

It didn’t go away when Catherine began to force him into dresses, to try to convince him he was a girl. She said that he could start to wear pants again whenever he accepted that he was a girl, but as much as he lied and begged, she never did.

It didn’t go away when he sheared off his hair in the bathroom in a quiet rebellion and Catherine lectured him about the devil and hell before packing his bags and sending him back to the care home. 

It didn’t go away when all the other foster parents after her took him in hoping to fix him for their own self-aggrandizement, only to send him back when he proved unfixable.

It didn’t go away when he was labeled as a lost cause and the social workers couldn’t find any more fosters for him and he was sent to a care home indefinitely.

It didn’t go away when the boys at the homes tried to beat it out of him and he had to learn how to defend himself from constant attacks.

It didn’t go away when the girls called him names and refused to let anyone talk to him for weeks at a time.

It didn’t go away when he was 11 and had his first magical explosion because of a punishment from a particularly vengeful group of boys

It didn’t go away.


	2. The Mage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon comes out to the Mage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're just gonna ignore that this is technically an hour late,,,
> 
> TW: a lil more internalized transphobia, a crowd of girls misgender him and make fun of him, quick mention of religious trauma
> 
> it only goes up from here! It'll still be a little bit of a process before he fully accepts himself, but he's just starting!
> 
> Also disclaimer as per usual: I am a trans man writing this, and a lot of stuff in it is based on my own experiences, but trans people aren't a monolith though, so not all trans people will have the same experiences. If you want to know more, I urge you to talk to trans people, my DMs are always open for any questions you may have.

After Simon’s first experience with magic, his interactions with the other children didn’t get any better. They often complained of him smelling strongly of cinnamon and cigarettes, and most couldn’t bear to be around him for long. The explosion burnt down a good section of the orphanage, and though no one was injured, Simon was transferred to a new home. The rumors of the event followed him to the new house, likely due to the gossipy ladies who worked in the office, which prevented him from forming any sort of friendships with the new group of children he was around. He was close to certain that this was all that was cut out for him, when one fateful late summer day he was called to the office.

When he was called, he was so busy raking his brain for any possible misdeed that he could have been in trouble for that he walked right into the ginger man who was waiting for him in the hallway. 

He stumbled out an apology that the man simply waved away with a lighthearted chuckle. He beckoned him into the office where he was met with an older lady in a purple dress. The lady explained to him that he was being offered an all-inclusive scholarship to a fancy private boarding school and that he should be so grateful for this opportunity, but all Simon could think was  _ why me? _ . As the lady lectured on about all of the details of the school and how he was expected to represent the orphanage with grace, his brain was flooding with worst possible case scenarios. He barely noticed when she dismissed him to begin packing the few belongings he had into a plain canvas bag. 

He did so slowly, unable to stop his brain from catastrophizing. Around him the other kids began to crowd around him, loudly celebrating his leave.

“Hey freak, what did you do to get kicked out of another home?” one of the older girls taunted

“I don’t care what she did, as long as she doesn’t burn down my bed” another joins in, laughing maliciously.

“Aren’t you gonna answer us? Do you think you’re too good for us or something?” asks the first girl, crowding Simon in until he can’t escape

He mumbles something quickly about the situation with the school, which only serves to make their taunts worse.

“Why would any school want you? Think about it, you aren’t smart enough for any of those posh schools, so what reason would they have for wanting you?”

“Maybe she’s lying,” one girl in the back interjects, “maybe it’s not a school at all, maybe it’s a program to make her normal.”

The rest of the girls continue this line of questioning, until Simon can’t feel anything but shame and terror and grief. His eyes threaten to fill with tears, but he learned years ago that crying was just a sign of weakness to these girls and showing any weakness was a death sentence in the homes. 

“Now now now, what’s happening here?” A voice speaks up from the door frame. It’s the man from before, still in his silly green outfit, but commanding the room with an unquestionable authority.

The crowd disperses, some girls murmuring excuses, but most having the sense to look a little embarrassed at having been caught at their teasing. The man nods at Simon and then shoulders the bag and leads the way out of the building. Simon follows silently as they approach a fancy-looking car. The man gets in on the driver’s side, as Simon sits in the passenger seat. The beginning of the ride passes in a stomach-churning silence, until the man begins to speak.

“Do you know why we chose you for the scholarship?” He asks, carefully, not removing his eyes from the road.

“Is it because I’m… different?” Simon asks, not quite sure how to vocalize his anxieties behind the truth of the scholarship.

“Why, yes. You are different, my dear, but our differences make us special at the school I’m taking you to” He explains, and Simons eyes dart with a million questions.

“So is everyone there like me?” 

“Yes.” He answers, and then offhandedly comments, “You know, I’m surprised you know so much about magic, coming from the normal world.”

“Wait. What?” Simon asks, laughing nervously, “Magic?”

“Of course! What did you think I was talking about?”

“You were talking about being different, and the girls in the home were saying that you were gonna take me away and make me normal and not wanna be a boy anymore and I thought you were saying that I wasn’t gonna go to hell like Miss Catherine told me I was.” He sputtered out, barely pausing to take a breath.

“Okay there, Okay.” The man says, taking a second to gather his words, “You are not going to hell. If you want to be a boy, you can be a boy and no one can or should ever take that away from you. But that’s not what I was talking about, can we start over?”

Simon nods.

“Hello, I’m Davy Llewellyn, and you can call me The Mage. I’m driving you to a magic school because you are also a mage and need to learn to use your magic in a safe way. What’s your name?”

“I’m Simon.” he says, feeling much lighter than he’d ever been.

“Nice to meet you Simon.” he smiles, “Do you want to go with me to get some new clothes for school?”

Simon agrees to this, and Davy turns into a car park on the left of the road and busies himself in finding a spot. When they are parked, The Mage exits the car and gestures for Simon to follow him. They walk until they’re at the doors to a thrift store down the block. The Mage lets Simon pick out a few outfits, reminding him that he’ll also have his school uniform once they arrive, and a pair of sneakers.

After they’ve returned to the car, The Mage seems to consider something briefly before speaking up.

“There’s a spell that I’ve heard of that can make you look like you would if you were born as a boy. If I cast it, it’ll have to be recast every month. Do you want me to cast it on you now?” He asks, maintaining eye contact to communicate that this is important.

“Yes, sir.” Simon says, and though he is nervous, the giddiness overrides that feeling. 

The Mage pulls out a wand and casts a spell that emits a faint green light with the words,  **Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday, you will be a real boy** . The air shimmers around Simon and he doesn’t feel much of a shift, until he looks at himself in the rearview mirror and suddenly feels like he sees himself for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated if you liked this!!
> 
> Find me elsewhere!  
> Tumblr:  snowandfirestories   
> Insta:  @snowandfirestories 


	3. Penny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon comes out to penny!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funnily enough, this is actually based off of what coming out to my theatre teacher was like, except it took me two years of making jokes and veiled references to my gender before she just kinda made me actually talk to her.
> 
> thanks to  bellacorvo for the joke at the end!!
> 
> and as always: I am a trans man writing this, and a lot of stuff in it is based on my own experiences, trans people aren't a monolith though, so not all trans people will have the same experiences. If you want to know more, I urge you to talk to trans people, my DMs are always open for any questions you may have.

Simon’s first year at Watford passed with ease. He would consider his greatest danger to be his evil roommate, Baz who was totally a vampire plotting his death. Within the first month, Penelope Bunce decided that he needed a friend and volunteered herself for that position with the same tour de force as she approached all social situations with. Penny was probably the smartest person that Simon had ever talked to at that point, but she never made Simon feel lesser because of it. When Simon had to fight the Goblin King at the end of first year, he’d be the first to admit that he wouldn’t have survived without her there.

But through all of this, even though Simon knows all there is to know about her, she doesn’t know much about Simon’s life outside of Watford. She knows every way that Simon has waxed poetic about butter and scones and how he never learned how to tie a tie and the basics behind the care homes, but Simon never really felt like it was the right time to dive into what his childhood had actually been like. He’d always grown up with the subliminal messaging that his experiences weren’t valid enough to merit a conversation, and even though he knew that Penny wouldn’t think any differently of him, he still had virtually no idea of how to broach that whole issue. 

And then there was the whole trans thing. In his first year at Watford, he’d been able to read a few books about trans people’s experiences and that helped him feel more at ease about his identity. He still would struggle with the feelings of inadequacy he’d come to know as internalized transphobia, but it was much easier to deal with the feelings related to that now that he was at Watford. He wasn’t as ashamed of it as he had once been, but he still hadn't told anyone at Watford other than the Mage. 

One fall day, Penny had invited herself up to Simon’s room to study while Baz was at football practice and though the afternoon had started out focused around a magic words assignment, it quickly devolved into Penny ranting about whatever was on her mind from that day. 

“-and the thing is, I was just wearing the school-issued skirt, it’s not in any way my fault that I grew a few inches over the last month and it’s half an inch above my knee. And Possibelf said that it was distracting the boys, which is just ridiculous. All of those boys can control themselves even if my skirt is a little higher than normal.” 

“Yeah, one time one of my foster parents wouldn't let me leave the house for a week because my dress rode up a bit during church” Simon replied without thinking about the context behind his words. Penny instantly got a look on her face, similar to when she was trying to figure out a particularly complex riddle. Simon realized that he’d pretty much outed himself, and could only sheepishly smile and hope that Penny would figure it out on her own.

“Wait. What? Si, is there something you want to talk to me about?” She prodded. He looked away and remained silent, hoping that Penny would just draw the conclusion on her own and they could just continue on with the conversation. They stood at a stalemate for about a minute before penny decided to speak up again

“Okay, so you obviously don’t want to start this conversation, but I can’t just ignore what you said, so can I say what I think and you nod if I’m right?” he nods.

“So you mentioned wearing dresses as a kid, but you don't anymore and you present really masculinely. Are you trans? Because if you are, that’s totally fine with me, you don’t have to be worried about talking to me about that, I might not totally understand the experience, but I’ll always accept you and listen to whatever you have to say, okay, Simon?” She says, her words snowballing, because if there’s one thing Penelope Bunce can’t do, it’s speak in short sentences. 

After she’s said her piece, she glances at Simon for confirmation, at which he nods

“Okay, now just to be sure, your name that you want me to call you is Simon, right? You don’t have another name that you’d prefer or anything?”

“Yeah, Simon’s my name, unless you want to start calling me Si-Fi” Simon said, grinning in the way only a 12 year old who’s about to make a truly terrible joke can.

“Why should I do that Si?” she says, already grinning in anticipation of the joke.

“Because I’m out of this world, of course!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you enjoyed this, Kudoses and Comments are much appreciated!!!!
> 
> Find me on Socials:  
> tumblr:  snowandfirestories   
> instagram:  @snowandfirestories 


	4. Aggie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon comes out to Aggie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're ignoring that all of these chapters are late, bc I'm gonna upload them all tonight, regardless of how late I have to stay up
> 
> My usual note: I am a trans man writing this, and a lot of stuff in it is based on my own experiences, trans people aren't a monolith though, so not all trans people will have the same experiences. If you want to know more, I urge you to talk to trans people, my DMs are always open for any questions you may have.
> 
> Also: in this chapter, Aggie hasn't realized that they're nonbinary yet, and the story is written through Simon's POV, so he doesn't use their correct pronouns yet

It’s suddenly 4th year, and Simon’s missions and adventures have started to become more dangerous and a whole lot less fun. In the younger years, he could rely on instincts to get him out of any situation, but as he grew older he was faced with more challenging enemies who couldn’t alway be beaten with a wave of a sword. But waving a sword was what Simon was most skilled at, to the disappointment of The Mage. 

The week before finals, Simon and Penny had just returned from rescuing Aggie from the Selkies, when Aggie had asked Simon out on a date. Simon was a self-proclaimed lost cause in the department of clothing, so Penny was given the job of helping him get ready for the date. He didn’t have a lot of clothes to wear, but by the time they were done, Simon looked presentable. 

With a quick thanks to Penny, Simon sprinted to grab the picnic blanket and basket. By the time he made it to the lake, Aggie was already there, looking especially ethereal in a light pink flowy sundress with a flower pattern. The sun highlighted her hair in a way that appeared to give her a halo. She smiled when she saw Simon and waved his way, chuckling at his overenthusiastic wave and excited running.

He set up the spread of food on the blanket, leaving room for them to sit together. The conversation was about as awkward as any first date is. They were already friends, so they didn’t automatically know where to go in their conversations from there. Simon let Aggie take the lead in the conversations, her talking about her horses and her normal friends and which classes stressed her out the most. She talked about her childhood, which mostly consisted of funny anecdotes that all started with “this one time at the club…” 

At some point in the conversation, she seemed to realize that she was taking up too much space in the conversation and drew back, instead asking Simon about his childhood. He stumbled over his words, trying to think of a way to approach the way he’d grown up that wouldn’t drive her away or make her pity him. 

“I think you know some of it, but I’ll just give you the rundown in case you didn’t. So, I’m still in the system, and because I don’t have parents, I pretty much just cycle through fosters and care homes, except for when I’m at Watford” he explains. At his explanation, he senses a hint of confusion in her eyes. 

“I thought that when the Mage first picked you up he took you away from the homes for good? We all just assumed that you stayed with him in the summers.” She said, as her confusion changed to anger. “I can’t believe him, that’s such a rotten thing to do to someone.”

“He just does it to keep me close to the language,” Simon said. 

“Why couldn’t he just have you make Normal friends?” Aggie argued, “Even if that’s his reasoning, you have to realize that that’s still pretty crappy of him to keep sending you back there every year. I just don’t know why you still fight his battles for him!”

“I have to, Aggie. You just wouldn’t get it, so why don’t we just drop it and go back to whatever we were talking about before” He reasoned.

“Let me try to get it, Simon. If I’m gonna be your girlfriend, you should be able to tell me what’s going on with you” 

“Okay. I guess I’d have to tell you eventually. So I was born as a girl- or wait no, that’s not the right way to say it. Um so I’m trans. And the Mage and Penny are the only ones who know, and The Mage was the first person to accept me, so I feel like I owe it to him. So, yeah” Simon said, stumbling over his words.

Aggie seems to take a moment to collect her thoughts, which are racing a million miles a minute. She finally speaks up to say one of the biggest questions plaguing her mind “How did you know?”

“Well, when I was a kid, I always wanted to do more boyish stuff, but I always chalked it up to just being a tomboy. And then one day, I was eating at a restaurant with my foster family at the time, and I saw a trans guy, and even though I didn’t have the words for it at the time, I knew that I desperately wanted to be like him. And that’s that, I guess, but, like, not every trans person figures it out that way, it might take longer for others” He summarized, then doubling back to say, “ Are you still fine with going out with me?”

“Of course! I support you, totally. I should’ve said that right off the bat.” She said with a smile. 

The rest of their picnic passed with ease, the two of them enjoying the chance to get to know each other in a new context. That night, Simon walked Aggie back to her building, and before he walked away, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always: thank you for reading, and kudoses and comments are always much appreciated!!
> 
> (see you more in a few hours) 
> 
> Find me on Socials:
> 
> Insta:  @snowandfirestories 
> 
> Tumblr: [ snowandfirestories ](%E2%80%9Dsnowandfirestories)


	5. Baz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon comes out to Baz!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all this was so so sweet to write
> 
> As Usual: I am a trans man writing this, and a lot of stuff in it is based on my own experiences, trans people aren't a monolith though, so not all trans people will have the same experiences. If you want to know more, I urge you to talk to trans people, my DMs are always open for any questions you may have.
> 
> TW: veiled mentions to sex (it's nothing explicit, and nothing goes further than kissing)
> 
> Edited to Add: I'm tired, so I'll post chapter 6 tomorrow, as well as the day 2 fic

Simon’s eighth year Christmas Eve is filled with kisses and fire and talking and more kisses- and it was the best one that he’d ever had. He learned that Baz has an immense sweet tooth. He learned that he feels conflicted about bearing the weight of his mother’s legacy. He learned so much more about who Baz was as a person, rather than some archetype he was expected to play.

But somewhere in between the kissing and talking, there was also a twinge of uncertainty. They were situated in a bubble of their own fantasies, and as with all bubbles, they were afraid it would pop. Simon had grown up with the idea that good things don't last long, and this idea was further cemented in his mind with every summer that he spent away from Watford. 

They were back to kissing after Baz had said something so sentimental that Simon felt butterflies in his stomach and a sudden need to close the distance between them. Baz was doing this thing with his tongue that had Simon feeling like mush, when he pulled back a bit. He got a look in his eyes that Simon couldn’t place, before moving back in. But this time, he missed Simon’s lips, aiming for a spot in between his lips and his chin. He drew back and moved to another spot, when Simon realized that he was slowly making his way across all of the moles he could see. Simon instinctively smiled like a love-struck teen, and he could feel Baz smile into his cheek. Baz pressed a soft kiss to all of the moles on his face and his arms. Then, Baz began to reach for the hem of Simon’s shirt, but Simon simply tensed up. Baz drew away, trying to hide his disappointment by pretending to check the time. 

“Look, Baz, I’m sorry, I just can’t do that, not yet” 

“It’s fine, Snow, I’m not going to push your boundaries. We can just go back to talking, if you want, I’m not mad”

“It’s- it’s not that I don’t want to.” He stammers. Because he does want to, he wants anything Baz will give him. But he knows that the spell that The Mage casts on him is only glamour magic, and he doesn’t know if it would hold up with fewer layers of clothing. And Baz doesn’t  _ know _ . 

“Then what is it?” He asks.

“Well, you’re gay, right?” Simon asks, stalling

“Yes, Snow, I’m as queer as a $3 bill. Your point?” Baz said, feigning nonchalance. 

“So you like guys, right?” 

“That would be the point.”

“How did you realize that you liked me?” Simon knew that his stalling routine was running short, but he didn’t want to jump into addressing his gender without knowing that Baz’s attraction ran deeper than surface level. 

“I don’t know, Snow, why won’t you just tell me what you mean instead of stalling?” He said, his unconcerned facade quickly fading.

“Please, Baz, I just need to know”

“I liked you from the very first moment I met you. You had a spark that I’d never seen in anyone else. But I knew, even then that the Families would never approve of us being friends, nevermind being anything more. So I hid it and I provoked you just to get your attention. My feelings just became stronger the more you showed the world how special and brave you were. And then in 5th year, I came to the realization that my feeling for you wouldn’t go away. I didn’t know how to deal with that, and I lashed out during that year more so than other years, and for that I will spend forever making it up to you.” 

“So it isn’t just physical for you?” He asks, because he has to be 100% sure.

“No, Simon, It might’ve been that first day, but I don’t think anyone could come to know you without falling for every part of you.”

“I needed to know that it wasn’t just physical for you, because this is a glamour. I couldn’t go any further with you because I wasn’t sure how long it would last if you were touching me in places that don’t exist outside of the spell,” He said, silently asking if Baz yet understood what he was trying to say. When he could tell that Baz didn’t get it, he continued, “I’m trans. The Mage found me as a kid, and when I told him I was a boy, he did a spell, that makes me look like a cis guy, as long as I’m respelled every few months.”

“Thank you for telling me, I know it’s a hard thing to do. I want you to know though that I will adore you no matter what your physical body looks like. You will always be the same stupidly brave moron who eats more scones than the entire continent, and I will never love you less” 

Needless to say, the kissing and conversation continued on through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, Kudoses and Comments are very very very appreciated
> 
> Find Me on Socials:  
> Insta:@snowandfirestories
> 
> Tumblr: snowandfirestories


	6. Aggie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aggie comes out to Simon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this, Aggie is girlflux, for an explanation of the identity girlflux, read  this carrd 
> 
> Also: I know that this is late, but I guess that's my brand now,, My day 2 fic should be out in a few hours, and that'll feature another transmasc Simon (shhhhh i'm allowed to play favorites)
> 
> Edited to Add: so I've decided to just let myself be late by a day now for the whole thing bc I need sleep, Good Night!!

Aggie had always resigned themself to their fate: study well at Watford (but not too much so as to not make the boys uncomfortable), look pretty, marry Simon Snow, and pop out a few kids. They felt they were destined to be the prize at the end of the quest, but they knew that they could never be truly satisfied with that ending. 

So when they were finally able to run away and leave the whole world of mages behind, they did without a second thought. They stayed in California, and tried to devote themself to their studies and to living life the way they never could at Watford. They finally made friends who didn’t care about their family’s wealth or their power level. Every once in a while they missed magic, as it had been one of few constants in their tumultuous life. But on the whole, they felt freer than they had ever been. 

Their whole life had felt like a dance recital that they were woefully unprepared for, but life in California felt like dancing to the radio with their friends on a late summer night. It felt like they were no longer expected to play a role that they wanted no part in, and that freedom was better than any spell they’d ever cast in their life.

With their newfound freedom, they started to realize that so many of the traditionally feminine things that they had enjoyed were only pleasing in that they helped them conform to what was expected of them. They still liked to paint their nails because the colors were a fun form of self-expression and self-care, but they no longer saw a point in shaving just for men’s approval. They loved the quiet strength and artistry that ballet provided them, but they found that heels were more trouble than they were worth. And they had found that over time they had just become more disconnected from the idea of being a woman now that they weren’t expected to fit into a mold. And this discovery was in equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. 

Before diving headfirst into their new concept of self, they slowly and quietly dipped their toes in. They started to attend Queer Student Union meetings, where they were able to talk to people and learn more about their experiences and researched online and in the campus library about different identities and activists. When they found a label that truly fit them, they felt a feeling in their chest unlike anything they had the tools to describe. It felt on some level that their heart had grown too big for their ribs, but it felt more comforting than painful. 

At the first meeting that they introduced themselves as simply “Aggie, they/them”, the feeling only blossomed. It took a few weeks before they were able to work up the nerve to come out to their roommate, Ginger, but when Ginger accepted them without question and hugged them, they thought to themself for the first time ‘I’m gonna be alright’.

But despite all of the successes they’d had in America, they still hadn’t come out to their friends from Watford. They knew on a logical level that Simon and Penny would be supportive, but it was still a scary idea to come out to someone who had known them most of their life, so they eventually made a plan for how they’d approach it. They decided to try to tell one person at a time, so it didn’t feel as intimidating. They ultimately decided to tell Simon first because he’d probably have less questions. They knew that Penny would be accepting too, but they also knew that the questions she’d ask would be too exhausting to put her first in line. And they knew that if Simon and Penny knew, then Baz probably would too eventually. They didn’t understand what exactly was going on with that whole situation, but Penny’s references to Baz made them infer that the three of them were friends now in some odd way. 

So they texted Simon one day out of the blue with “hey, can we facetime? i kinda wanna talk about something”. He texted back, almost immediately, typing “yeh, one sec”. They took a breath, and then Simon’s contact popped up on the screen. A more cowardly part of their brain urged them to decline the call and shut off their phone and become a hermit without access to the internet, but their rational brain pressed accept. 

Simon answered with a “Hey!” and a wide smile. He turned the camera slightly to his right and introduced Baz, who was lounging on the sofa next to him “Baz is here! He says Hi!”

“I can say hello for myself, Snow,” they heard Baz say, but it has less bite than it would’ve in their school days, “Hello, Wellbelove”

“Hi, Baz. I hope you’re well.” They said, out of courtesy 

“Likewise. Well I don’t want to intrude, so I’ll be going” He said and moved to get up. Before he could get up, Simon softly kissed his cheek and whispered something that the phone couldn’t pick up

“Okay, I had my thing to talk about, but now I have to ask: when did that happen?” Aggie asked, completely flabbergasted. Simon chuckled and moved to speak.

“Well It kinda started on Christmas Eve of our Eighth year? When I went to Baz’s house for Christmas, he kinda tried to set a forest on fire and I kissed him really impulsively and realized that I really liked it. The past two years have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but I’m glad I had Baz by my side to help me sort through my shit” He explained.

“Two years? How did I not know for two years?”

“You weren't here, and I wasn’t sure if it was a conversation we should have on the phone, and then at some point, me and Penny had mentioned Baz so much that I just assumed that you knew?” He said sheepishly, arm raising to rub his shoulder in embarrassment. “But that’s not what you called to tell me about, so you can talk about whatever you called for now if you want?”

“Wow, right off the bat?” They laughed, before continuing. “So, I’ve been in California for a while now, and so I’ve had the space to reexamine a lot of the parts of my life that I wasn’t really able to think about before. So I’ve recently discovered that I’m nonbinary, or more specifically, I use the label girlflux. I’ve been using they/them pronouns for a while now, and just going by Aggie, and I feel so much freer than I ever have”

“Oh! Cool! Yeah, that’s super cool for you, Aggie!” He said, obviously caught by surprise, before continuing to say, “I’m super proud of you for realizing that, and I’m glad that you felt like you could tell me!”

And Aggie could tell that everything was going to be alright. They might face some challenges, but that was a part of life, and the world was a bit of a better place every time someone felt comfortable enough to discover who they truly were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, Kudoses and Comments light up my life and this is a big thank you to everyone who has commented or kudosed this fic. You all deserve a warm cup of hot cocoa (or whatever hot beverage is to your liking)

**Author's Note:**

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> please kudos and comment if you enjoyed!


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